Age is an issue of mind over matter. You're up, you're down,but in the end the house always wins.Doesn't mean you didn't have fun.- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry, It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.- Mark Twain (attributed), Morality is simply the attitude we adopttowards people whom we personally dislike.- Oscar Wilde, I love being married.It's so great to find that one special personyou want to annoy for the rest of your life.- Rita Rudner, The only fool bigger than the person who knows it allis the person who argues with him.- Stanislaw Jerszy Lec, Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be bornat the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.- Mark Twain, Life onlyappears to berushing toward us- Jonathan Lockwood Huie, Life is defined more by its contrasts than its samenesses;Life is defined more by its risks than the many securities.- Mary Anne Radmacher, No matter how much cats fight,there always seem to be plenty of kittens.- Abraham Lincoln, In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back.- Charles M. Schulz in his Peanuts cartoon, The most difficult phase of lifeis not when no one understands you,it is when you don't understand yourself.- Anonymous, Life is always lived in the eye-of-the-storm- Jonathan Lockwood Huie, Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.- Mark Twain, To the young child, all life is a great adventure -when did we grow so dull and brittle.- Jonathan Lockwood Huie. I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly. So, have fun and give them something to talk about. Crazy quotes are words of wisdom for all those crazy moments. Cats are smarter than dogs. The School Bus Riddle ONLY applies in the USA. I bought one of those tapes to teach you Spanish in your sleep. Never argue with a doctor; he has inside information. See Our Variety Of Our Allergen Free Products, Safe & Delicious For Everyone! I want to remind you of how important it is to live life to the fullest. They have a huge clock right in the middle of the town. You'll never get out of it alive. - From the movie ED tv. What should you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant? The Quotes is a compilation of quotes, riddles, and jokes. Love with your … From work responsibilities to home chores, time to enjoy your life can seem limited. Funny quotes. I’m writing my book in fifth person, so every sentence starts out with: “I heard from this guy who told somebody…”. Top 23 Quotes About Living Your Life to the Fullest 1. Enjoy the moment, this moment is your life. I don’t want to brag, but I do speak pig Latin; I mean, I’m not fluent, but I’m sure 
if I ever went there, I could get by. The holiday season: a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice. I … The closest a person ever comes to perfection is when he fills out a job application form. Why does moisture destroy leather? 1. Let us know if you have suggestions for us! My parents used to stuff me with candy when I was a kid. Free From 14 Allergens. My uncle Sammy was an angry man. Do not take life too seriously. It’s cheaper, and you get more feet. There’s only one true superpower amongst human beings, and that is being funny. I never made a mistake in my life. Being alive is the special occasion” – Unknown Part of enjoying life is realizing that every second you have on this earth is precious and to be enjoyed. 3. The beginning of the holiday shopping season for men is Christmas Eve. We’re all wearing leather! Funny Inspirational Quotes 2 Enjoy more light hearted quotes to make you smile. Funny Quotes Have A Good Life Quotes Quotes About Life Lessons Daily Quotes And Sayings Quotes About Enjoying Your Life Famous Inspirational Quotes About Life Enjoy Yourself Quotes Hard Life Quotes And Sayings Inspirational Quotes Happy With Yourself Quotes Small Life Quotes And Sayings Love Life Quotes And Sayings Enjoy Your Life Quotes. Here’s some advice: At a job interview, tell them you’re willing to give 110 percent. I want to encourage you to find the purpose of life in the smallest everyday things. Halloween is the beginning of the holiday shopping season. “I’m sick of following my dreams, man. Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves? — John Lennon. Avril Lavigne. Where there’s a will, there’s a relative. Never be in a hurry to terminate a marriage. - Jonathan Lockwood Huie. Never try to tell everything you know. Enjoy the journey.- Jonathan Lockwood Huie, In dwelling, live close to the ground.In thinking, keep to the simple.In conflict, be fair and generous.In governing, don't try to control.In work, do what you enjoy.In family life, be completely present.- Lao Tzu, God is Within You!You yourself are the creator.If you find that place within youfrom which you brought this thing about,you will be able to live with it and affirm it,perhaps even enjoy it, as your life.- Joseph Campbell, Holding-on does not have to be a desperateteeth-gritting kind of holding-on.Holding-on can be a joyful"this is just the nature of Life,so I may as well enjoy it"kind of holding-on.- Jonathan Lockwood Huie. We’re going to ruin the whole outfit here!”. “The purpose of our lives is to be happy.”. Old age is fifteen years older than I am.- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr. Live life on the edge, not with an edge.- Jonathan Lockwood Huie, You can't make an omelet without breaking eggs.- Anonymous, We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.- Oscar Wilde, One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.- Winston Churchill, Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.- John Lennon, The difference between school and life?In school, you're taught a lesson and then given a test.In life, you're given a test that teaches you a lesson.- Tom Bodett, Life is serious, get out your magic wand.- Jonathan Lockwood Huie, One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.- Ogden Nash, If life is a trial, who is the judge and jury?- Jonathan Lockwood Huie, It takes a big cat to be number 2.- Jonathan Lockwood Huie, The essence of life is not inthe great victories and grand failures,but in the simple joys.- Jonathan Lockwood Huie, Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...It's about learning to Dance in the Rain.- Vivian Greene, Play with life, laugh with life,dance lightly with life,and smile at the riddles of life,knowing that life's only true lessonsare writ small in the margin.- Jonathan Lockwood Huie, I have found that if you love life,life will love you back.- Arthur Rubinstein, They have come up with a perfect understanding.He won't try to run her life,and he won't try to run his, either.- Anonymous, Every man prefers belief to the exercise of judgment.- Lucius Annaeus Seneca, Joy is a choice - but it isn't an easy choice.- Jonathan Lockwood Huie, Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.- the movie National Lampoon's Animal House (1978). Christmas is a baby shower that went totally overboard. When it’s raining, cows don’t go up to the farmhouse yelling, “Let us in! Isn’t that called a sponge? If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in a library? Enjoy the little things in life, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things. I’m sorry, if you were right, I’d agree with you. Don’t take life too seriously. That way they will experience some happiness along with all the hard work God … Elbert Hubbard. "Even the moon, master of the sea, illuminator of the night, has her creators." I may not be your favorite color but one day you'll need me to complete … “Just because you can’t dance doesn’t mean you shouldn’t dance.” 
—Alcohol. “. Thank you for visiting: Funny Enjoy Life Quotes - Funny Quotes about Enjoy Life. Mark Twain. I don’t think they wanted a child; I think they wanted a piñata. (Created by Isabel Cousins). A watched pot never boils, but it does get paranoid. You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes. The four most beautiful words in our common language: “I told you so”. “. Be happy, it drives people crazy. Famous Inspirational Quotes By Women Quotes that are filled with insight and inspiration, by well known women. Internships give you all the experience of a summer job without the hassle of a paycheck. You can’t get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. We’ve compiled the largest list of funny quotes to make you laugh out loud. Enter your email address:Delivered by FeedBurner, Play full-out and enjoy all of Life.- Jonathan Lockwood Huie, Hold on... Joyfully.Holding-on does not have to bea desperate teeth-gritting kind of holding-on.Holding-on can be a joyful"this is just the nature of Life,so I may as well enjoy it"kind of holding-on.- Jonathan Lockwood Huie, Life is a grand adventure - enjoy the ride.- Jonathan Lockwood Huie, Not what we have,but what we enjoy,constitutes our abundance.- Epicurus, When you dance, your purpose is not to getto a certain place on the floor.It's to enjoy each step along the way.- Wayne Dyer, I actually enjoy being out of my depth - I thrive on it.- Bono, Carpe diem! No man has a good enough memory to be a successful liar. My kitchen floor is sticky, and I had to do something about it. There's no reason to become alarmed,and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight.By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?- the movie Airplane! This mall Santa seems insulted that I put down that protective paper before sitting on his lap. I have had fun taking back superlatives and just ordinary good words and phrases from ads and trying to restore some of their life to them. A woman’s mind is cleaner than a man’s: She changes it more often. You may need this person to finish a sentence. Funny Life Quotes. Non-GMO. During the night, the tape skipped. Don’t send funny greeting cards on birthdays or at Christmas. People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do. I gave my father $100 and said, “Buy yourself something that will make your life easier.” So he went out and bought a present for my mother. “. Sometimes I think war is God’s way of teaching us geography. - Jonathan Lockwood Huie Take a break with the collection of wise and insightful enjoying life quotes below. I bought one of those tapes to teach you Spanish in your sleep. Build a man a fire and he’ll be warm for an hour. I never feel more alone than when I’m trying to put sunscreen on my back. Over the last 300 years people have pontificated about wine. 2.4K Shares Laughter is the best medicine in life, and these funny inspirational quotes and sayings are guaranteed to brighten your day by putting a big beautiful smile on your face. At what age do you think it’s appropriate to tell a highway it’s adopted? During the night, the tape skipped. Electricity is really just organized lightning. This is a list of the funniest life quotes we could find, from Johnny Carson to Kurt Cobain. “Nobody gets to live life backward. Save 15% w/ Auto Delivery. I have never been hurt by what I have not said. There cannot be a crisis next week. - Albert Einstein. Make a cup of coffee or tea and relax. For every set of horseshoes human beings use for luck, somewhere in this world there’s a barefoot horse. Life is hard; it’s harder if you’re stupid. Funny Life Quotes & Sayings “Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy.” ― Albert Einstein “A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.” ― Winston S. Churchill A Canadian psychologist is selling a video that teaches you how to test your dog’s IQ. What are they planting to grow the seedless watermelon? It’s just been too intelligent to come here.” Arthur C. … Check out our full collection of life quotes. July 5, 2020 By Celine Leave a Comment. One time, a guy handed me a picture and said, “Here’s a picture of me when I was younger.” Every picture of you is when you were younger. They leave us with a chuckle or laugh to keep us going throughout the day. Enjoy and soak them in!! Here’s how it works: If you spend $12.99 for the video, your dog is smarter than you. Whoever named it necking is a poor judge of anatomy. Please sign up on the form below to receive Charles M. Schulz. ENJOY LIFE!!!. All life is an experiment. Whether you enjoy a latte, a cappuccino, or simply black coffee, these funny coffee quotes and sayings will have you nodding your head and will tempt you to reach for another cup. People treat you differently if you can make them laugh. Get a Funny Quote of the Day each day by email or in your feed reader. Enjoying Life Sayings and Quotes. No one can ever laugh too much, and these funny quotes will inspire you to smile bigger and laugh harder. and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself. Oct 27, 2019 - That's Life -this is for all people, who really know the good and the bad sides of life, the crazy, funny & lonely ones. – Ann Landers. Sit down and enjoy these funny quotes and let yourself be inspired how you can get a better life.eval(ez_write_tag([[468,60],'the_quotes_com-box-3','ezslot_14',103,'0','0'])); Here is a video with funny quotes. - Jonathan Lockwood Huie. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email. Being president is like running a cemetery: You’ve got a lot of people under you, and nobody’s listening. Elbert Hubbard. Nature abhors a vacuum, but not as much as a cat does. From famous artists and politicians to anonymous writings that capture the meaning of wine, here are some of the top funny wine quotes from as early as 1200 to current day. All of the people in my family worked until they dropped, including my father. Life can also be a game. Swimming is a confusing sport, because sometimes you do it for fun, and other times you do it to not die. There’s a rule of writing: if everything is funny, nothing is funny; if everything is sad, nothing is sad. People always ask kids the same stupid questions. ♥. All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable. Either we suffer in health or we suffer in soul or we get fat. Life is a journey - enjoy the journey. You can choose to enjoy life or choose to suffer from the pain it gives you. ~Himaja Sirigiri . That’s for women. Some people just have a way with words, and other people … oh … not have way. Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is a little like expecting the … Here are some great inspirational quotes about living life to the fullest! Sep 25, 2013 - Explore 7 Cups of Tea's board "Enjoy Life", followed by 512 people on Pinterest. 2. “The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without … Look ahead, that is where your future lies.”. You want that contrast. So finally I went out and bought some slippers. “Your face is dirty is the best compliment from a best friend.”. Let these funny Enjoy Life Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day. It may take too short a time. May the world be kind to you, Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter. In all seriousness, we all need a reminder of how short life is and that’s exactly what these enjoy life quotes are for!. Life is precious and unfortunately, we only have a finite amount of time to participate. Now I can only stutter in Spanish. A day without sunshine is like, you know, night. It’s a funny thing that when a man hasn’t anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married. Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m schizophrenic, and so am I. Don't take life too seriously. ... Life is too short. Life is a journey - enjoy the journey. Holding-on can be a joyful "this is just the nature of Life, so I may as well enjoy it" kind of holding-on. Everything is funny, as long as it’s happening to somebody else. Unless the job is a statistician. Types: No Dairy, No Tree Nuts, No Gluten, No Soy, No Eggs, No Casein. It’s simple, if it jiggles, it’s fat. This is a curated sub-category. See more ideas about words, inspirational quotes, words of wisdom. Holding-on does not have to be a desperate teeth-gritting kind of holding-on. You will never get out of it alive. Life would be tragic if it weren’t funny. September 23, 2017 John Vincent 1 Comment Happiness is a choice. “Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans.”. If at first you don’t succeed… so much for skydiving. You will never get out of it alive. Play full-out and enjoy all of Life. My schedule is already full. - Jonathan Lockwood Huie. Save them for funerals, when their cheery effect is needed. 55 Enjoy Life Quotes Images to Enjoy Life to The Fullest. I don’t know that there are real ghosts and goblins, but there are always more trick-or-treaters than neighborhood kids. Life Happy Roller Coaster. See more ideas about funny, funny quotes, enjoy life. Many of us are stressed and we are too busy in our everyday lives. A hotel minibar allows you to see into the future and find out what a can of Pepsi will cost in 2030. “Breath deeply, this breath is your life. If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten. If people say they just love the smell of books, I always want to pull them aside and ask, To be clear, do you know how reading works? Why is there an expiration date on sour cream? If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn’t sit for a month. If women ran the world we wouldn’t have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.